Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
