I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
