this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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