worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
