'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
