The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
