Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
