Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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