I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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