I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
