perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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