You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
