dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
