Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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