Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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