Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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