He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
