i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
