You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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