eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
