im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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