i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
