Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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