Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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