We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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