I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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