ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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