it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
