I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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