from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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