i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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