I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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