it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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