I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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