Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
