Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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