no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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