fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
