The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
