I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.