Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
