That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
