Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
