In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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