is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
