ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
