You just made me feel so damn special
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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