Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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