omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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