I just saw a hot homeless man
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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