dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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