Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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