I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
