We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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