any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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