I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize