clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
