so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
