I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
literally had 100 drinks last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize