i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize