Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I feel great
I just peed on a car
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
