you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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