YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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