I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
