i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
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I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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