...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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