i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
