How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
well you can't waste a boner
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
