I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
