So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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